Hill-Topics
We were going to publish a summary of the most exciting police calls in Hillsboro in 2006. But that was before we picked up the most recent edition of the York (Neb.) News-Times.
We read on Saturday the annual police blotter round-up for the York police and York County sheriff. My wife, Claire, and I were driving our oldest daughter, Bethany, back to Nebraska Wesleyan, in Lincoln.
After yukking it up, we decided to share some of them with you. We jumped to the conclusion that Hillsboro and Marion County law enforcement officials would be thankful that those who reported these (alleged) crimes live there, and not here.
Wednesday at 11:16 p.m., report that a suspicious man was sitting on top of mail boxes, refusing to move, on N. Grant Ave.
Tuesday at 12:43 p.m., report that someone stopped at a traffic light, opened their door, set a green cup on the ground and then drove away.
Monday at 9:33 p.m., report that two men were breaking glass behind a business. The caller said they thought the business might be a glass business.
Friday at 1:57 a.m., report that a vacuum unit was continually running at a car wash, and that it wouldn't turn off.
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More police news in a moment, but first, this report from a French restaurant in Wichita, where yours truly and his daughter, Jillian, 19, were picketed for ordering rabbit stew Dec. 23 by wanna-be PETA club members (People for the ethical treatment of animals).
The protest occurred during a family dinner party, which was disrupted by in-laws at the table who sang, "Little Bunny Foo-Foo" as we picked up our spoons.
Undaunted, we slurped.
The rabbit stew was served in large bowls, with broth and inch-wide noodles. The meat was pulled like pork and marinated in red wine. While palatable, it tasted nothing like fried rabbit with gravy I fondly remembered from my childhood.
Despite the fact that we also were accused of eating the Easter Bunny, we ate our fill. And we told the protesters we were going to start a PETA group of our own: People Eating Tasty Animals.
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Tuesday at 10:25 p.m., a boy reported that his mother asked him to call the police, but he didn't know why.
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Christmas was a family affair. Claire's brother and sister-in-law, Jim and Nancy Brewer, along with their daughter, Theodora (Teddy), came from Oregon.
Teddy, now five, was adopted by the Brewers, who rescued her from a crowded Chinese orphanage, where she had been left on the doorstep.
Ironically, the baby girl that shared a crib with Teddy at the orphanage was adopted by a couple from Hutchinson, and the parents arranged a get-together this past week to reunite the children.
I asked how they knew their children were crib mates, and Jim said that careful records are kept on adopted Chinese children to help avoid problems that could occur later with sibling intermarriages.
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Friday at 8:58 p.m., report that someone dropped off a cat at a residence, with a note asking them to care for the cat. The caller said they were allergic to cats.
Thursday at 3:15 p.m., report that a couple was "being overly affectionate" on a tire swing in a city park.
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Speaking of couples, I stayed up late Monday night watching Boise State's fairy-tale 43-42 overtime victory over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl.
It was, I'm sure, the greatest sporting triumph in the history of the state of Idaho.
On the game-winning two-point conversion in overtime, the Boise quarterback faked a pass to his right, then in a version of the old "Statue of Liberty" play, slipped the ball to running back Ian Johnson, who ran in for the win. It was awesome!
In the hoopla that followed, the Boise back was interviewed on television, pretty cheerleader girlfriend by his side. At the end of the interview, he dropped to a knee and asked the girl to marry him.
Of course, she said yes.
Everybody cheered.
Because my wife, Claire, had gone to bed and nobody saw the tears rolling down my cheeks, I could say I was just bleary-eyed from watching too much New Year's Day football; or I could say I was crying tears of joy because Oklahoma got beat. Because both might've been true.
It was in so many ways
Truly, a fairy-tale ending.
Grant Overstake
