One Woman's View: I love Christmas, but
Contributing writer
A column idea that has percolated in my brain for years deals with all the pet peeves I have about the Christmas season. Not wanting to be labeled a latter-day Ebenezar Scrooge, I have heretofore resisted the temptation to write it.
First of all, I abominate the trend toward starting the Christmas season earlier and earlier. As far as I am concerned, it is carved in stone somewhere that the Yuletide season begins the day after Thanksgiving. When I walk down store aisles lined with Christmas cards and decorations in October and see people putting up their lights and manger scenes in early November, I am somewhat disgruntled. I sometimes wonder why we have Thanksgiving on the calendar at all.
Of course, I suppose it could be considered a good thing to celebrate Christmas year round. I admit I sometimes play carols in the middle of the summer, but that is in the privacy of my own home. When cities, businesses and churches push the season two or three months ahead, it somehow seems to cheapen the sacred significance the holiday should have and certainly encroaches on Thanksgiving, which should also be a meaningful time.
It bothers me that you rarely see a manger scene with more than one shepherd. Maybe I'm being petty, but I never read a translation of Scripture which said, "There was in the same country a shepherd abiding in the field keeping watch over his flock by night." The plural noun means to me that a manger scene needs at least two shepherds. If manufacturers do not want to take on the expense of another figure, why not have two shepherds and two wise men? Nowhere in the Bible does it say there were three wise men.
Have you ever thought the whole wrapping paper industry lacks the slightest remnant of common sense? Is there a greater misnomer in the world than "stick-on bows"? In the interests of accuracy they should be called "fall-off bows," but then nobody would buy them. Since I've been through that scene every year, I don't know why I buy them anyway.
If other gift wrappers are anything like me, they want to wrap most packages in red with a green bow or green with a red bow. Then why does almost every package of paper or ribbon have about a three to one ratio of red to green? I constantly run out of green ribbon and have to go red on red, which looks really tacky. I keep a sharp lookout for predominantly green wrapping paper, but rarely find it.
When I do, of course, I really stock up and then may run short of red ribbon. I guess I must admit part of this problem is rooted in the chaos of my psyche. And what is the idea behind all those blue and white bows? How often does anybody voluntarily use a blue or white bow on a Christmas package?
I think the figures on wrapping paper should point in all directions in a random manner. When all the wreaths, Christmas trees or Santa faces run in the same direction, they will obviously be upside down (or bottom side up if you are from east of the Flint Hills) on two sides of every package.
All these are very minor aggravations, however, compared to my biggest wrapping paper gripe. Do they think nobody ever gives a child anything smaller than a bicycle or a sled? Any paper designed to appeal to children always seems to be printed with giant figures. If you want to wrap a yo-yo or a matchbox car, for example, Santa's nose covers the top of the box with his cheeks on the sides and his cap on one end and his beard on the other — not a pretty package. Twenty odd years ago I had some perfect paper for children's small gifts. It was green and covered with tiny candy canes about an inch long and about an inch apart. After I used it up, I haven't found anything really appropriate since.
The next time you see me on the street, please don't greet me with, "Hello, Grinch!" Honestly, I love Christmas as much as the next person. If those with power to implement change read this column and take care of these few annoying details, next year my joy will be unalloyed.
