Rethinking politeness
It was a weekday morning, and I was running late for work. In between cramming down breakfast and trying to make myself presentable, the phone rang.
Who on earth would be calling me on a weekday morning?
Once I picked up the phone and heard the beginnings of a rehearsed speech on the other end, I knew: telemarketer.
After rejecting the saleswoman's first pitch, I said something sarcastic — and abruptly hung up.
That was rude.
Different scenario: Last week, I called a rental company to confirm some last-minute moving details.
My questions were simple, but the impatient customer service rep wasn't hearing them. After hearing her final spiel, I was about to ask her, politely, to let me ask one more question.
Exasperated and annoyed, she squealed, "Ma'am, what do you want me to do?"
She was rude.
It seems that we have a problem here.
For whatever reason, we Americans have no problem being rude and mean with impersonal communication — like phone, e-mail, Internet message boards. Or any sort of communication that doesn't involve us actually being physically present with the person we're talking to.
But come face to face with a person you have a conflict with, and there's no way you'd be that arrogant.
That woman you've been gossiping about? Meet her in the aisle of the grocery store, and there's no way those accusations would come out of your mouth.
Don't like the neighbor down the street? You tell your best friend all the latest rumors you've heard about his family, but you smile and say a hearty 'Hello' when you see him on the sidewalk.
We've all done it — and I include myself in that (very much so).
People can dismiss it as ordinary "small-town gossip." Or we can say, "It's just another annoying telemarketer."
But maybe we should take a closer look at ourselves and our hearts and determine what's really there.
A lot of gossip is far from harmless. It's mean and cruel, and passes off falsehood as truth.
And just because the voice on the phone is a telemarketer doesn't mean we shouldn't give them the respect we give any other human being.
Let's hold ourselves to a higher standard.
— JENNIFER WILSON
